Recently there has been this departure from one of the oldest and most famed Christmas traditions -- the annual Christmas letter. I hear people complain that the most recent Christmas letters are boring and merely brag about everything the sender did that year. Or they complain that they are too long and they don’t have time to read them. Sadly, I agree with their complaints; there are many Christmas letters out there posing to be the real deal, but sadly they miss the aspects that have carried on this tradition for years. Every year, however, I anxiously check my mailbox for a couple of Christmas letters that will make me smile, laugh, or choke up. I commend those people for forgetting about themselves and writing a letter that is intended to be a gift to the recipient.
Several years ago I decided that I wanted to be one of those people that carried on the tradition of the storied Christmas letter. I set out to study the best of the best and developed what I think is a formula for composing a compelling letter. While I don’t mean to boast, I’ve been particularly proud of the responses we’ve garnered from our last several Christmas letters. If someone tells me that our letter made them laugh or that they shared it with everyone that came into their home, I know I’ve gotten the job done – I’ve spread the Christmas spirit with a mere eight and a half by eleven sheet of paper.
So, although it’s after Christmas, I’m posting a copy of our letter here with a few pointers on writing a great Christmas letter. I hope that our mailbox will be flooded next year with messages from our friends.
Top Ten Rules for Writing a Christmas Letter the Recipient Will Actually Read:
The opening paragraph is key. It should be short (no more than three sentences) and set the stage for what the letter will reveal. The opening paragraph is the hook. Letters need not be filled with sidesplitting humor, but they should evoke a chuckle once or twice.
Write in your own words. Tell stories that are personally meaningful to you. Don’t use your thesaurus to fill the letter with words that make you appear smarter.
Don’t brag. Nobody cares about how much money you made, where you vacationed, or the degrees you’ve earned. They hopefully care about the challenges you faced, the lessons you learned, and the people you touched.
Start writing early. Start developing ideas for your Christmas letter in November. A lot has transpired during the past year and it can be hard to remember the most meaningful happenings.
Make it brief. If you can’t say it on one page front and back, you’re not saying it correctly. Adjusting the margins and typeface is okay as long as the type is no smaller than 11 pt and there is adequate white space – you don’t want your reader to feel overwhelmed.
Write with a thread. Great letters, like great stories, have one constant – a topic, story, or person that resurfaces throughout the letter. This thread will provide continuity and interest. You should always close your letter with this thread. Your letter should start out with a small bang, build in intensity until 3/4 of the way through, ease off towards the end, and end with a kicker.
Embellish, but don’t lie. A Christmas letter is about great stories. It’s okay if every fact and figure isn’t represented and if you use outrageous descriptors to make your point—there is a certain amount of expected and tolerated creative license to every Christmas letter; don’t cross the line.
Make it punchy. Don’t draw out a story longer than needed. Make sure your thoughts are concise and relevant. The recipient should be able to read any single paragraph and be filled with some Christmas joy.
Include everyone. Be sure to give adequate coverage for everyone in your family. Make mention of your neighbors, colleagues, friends, or church mates if possible. If the recipient sees that they are highlighted in your Christmas letter, they’ll be more likely to read it next year.
Add your contact info. One of the old marketing additives is to only pursue those things that are “measurable.” If you provide current contact info in your letter (your blog address, phone number, e-mail, etc.) people will update their address books and possibly write you back. Those who write back will get a picture with their Christmas letter next year while the scrooges will slowly disappear from your Christmas list.
The 2007 Paulsen Christmas Letter
(I wouldn't categorize this as our best work - but we've been pleased by the smiles it's brought to people's faces)
(I wouldn't categorize this as our best work - but we've been pleased by the smiles it's brought to people's faces)
With and without, the haves and the have-nots, we’ve been on both sides of the table this year as the following stories illustrate. But before I divulge this year’s happenings, I want to make my position very clear—we feel immeasurably blessed.
This year’s first “without” has little do with the bare necessities and more to do with the small luxuries in life. It also happens to include the smallest member of our rat pack, Yaks. Yaks is the typical boy: athletic and mischievous. The following reenactment occurs on a daily basis.
Mom walks into a room and asks, “Yaks, what are you doing?” At this moment Yaks has his back facing Mom concealing something in his paws. Just then he turns, glares at her with those brown eyes, grins subtly, and slowly raises his left eyebrow. This happens milliseconds before he pours an entire bottle of syrup on the carpet or empties a container of onion powder into the toaster (both of which happened this year). The results of Yak’s antics are normally reversible, although our toaster still cooks onion-flavored Eggos. Occasionally, however, Yak’s nefarious activities cause permanent damage. I distinctly remember three phone calls I received this year.
1) [Args] “Honey, Yaks has something he wants to tell you.”Alas, the pain of losing the aforementioned items has faded, and I have an abundance of memories that are, well, priceless. Since that time, Args and I have hypothesized as to why Yaks chose to destroy those particular items. All we can come up with is that they are the three competitors for attention: phone, computer, and television.
[JB] “Awe, he misses his daddy.”
[Args] “No, he threw your cordless phone in the toilet.”
(Cordless phone: $200)
2) [Args] “Sweetie, do we have another mouse for the computer?”
[JB] “Why, is the cordless mouse out of batteries?”
[Args] “No, Yaks threw it in the toilet.”
(Wireless mouse: $60)
3) [Args] “You love your son, don’t you”
[JB] “Of course I do”
[Args] “Even more than your remote control”
[JB] “My LCD universal remote that I can use anywhere in our yard?”
[Args] “Yeah…(pause) Yaks threw it in the toilet.”
(Logitech Harmony 890 Remote: $350)
Boo is still fixated on Sesame Street and Elmo, but the obsession with these educational PBS programs is quickly shifting to a powerful commercial monster, Disney Princesses ®. Belle, from Beauty and the Beast is her favorite. Evidence of this transition takes place every morning when Jane promptly removes her Elmo pajamas and exchanges them for her favorite pink dress. It’s strange when she ventures outside on a weekday, as she resembles a pioneer girl.
One of Boo’s favorite Elmo episodes has also been instrumental in her princess metamorphoses. The episode, entitled “Hair,” teaches children everything they need to know about taking care of their hair, including how to get a haircut. You probably know where this is headed—another dreaded phone call from Args. This call was actually a picture message to my cell phone; “Look at what Boo did with the scissors!” was the text that accompanied a photo array of Boo’s perfectly chiseled mullet. In an attempt to make herself into a beauty, she had unleashed a beast.
As most of you know, we moved to ******* last year, a paradisiac community with wonderful neighbors. We purchased a relatively newer home in hopes of avoiding remodeling and repair costs. This strategy worked marvelously until our furnace and water heater broke. Despite the two big blows to our budget, we persevered. Things got slightly worse, however, when during our vacation in ********* this summer the air conditioner on our Honda blew up. We drove the 300-mile trip home with the windows down in 100-degree weather. I can still remember the kid’s bright-red faces and ratted hair as they sat parched in the back seat. If there was one benefit to the broken AC, it was the wind blowing between windows as it would drown out Boo’s voice as she sang out-of-tune Disney songs. She has an acute ear for disharmony as she can sing any song exactly one half step down from its intended key. It’s worse when she sings at full voice during church. The cost of repairing the AC was substantial so we postponed fixing it for several months by planning early morning grocery runs and carrying ice-cold sippy cups when daytime travel was required.
With the cost of repairs and haircuts racking up, we deemed it necessary to trim expenses and sell the Subaru. The adjustment was actually a positive change for our family. Using some of the proceeds from the sale, I purchased a road bike and began biking the 27-mile round trip commute to work. After several months I had lost close to 25 pounds (down to a svelte 160), cut my contribution to global warming, and saved a small fortune in auto expenses and gas. Be sure to look for me on the “The Biggest Loser” next season.
Living with one car hasn’t been without its challenges. One particular incident occurred when I attended Woodbadge training this summer. For those unfamiliar with Woodbadge, the course is a Boy Scout leadership training. Adults dress in full uniform (red and green socks included), learn and practice leadership skills, and live like boy scouts for six days and five nights. The course took place up ******* Canyon beginning at 6:00 am the first morning.
Transportation to Woodbadge presented a problem because we didn’t have a spare car for me to take for the duration of the training. Waking the kids up at 5:45 am wasn’t an option either according to Args. Trapped, I called on my amazing mother to help with transport. She agreed to pick me up that morning to take her 28-year-old son, dressed in full scout uniform, to scout camp. Fortunately, she had planned a hike up the canyon that same morning with my aunt who drove up with us.
We proceeded up the canyon, my mom, my aunt, and a grown boy scout in the back seat. Needless to say, I was slightly embarrassed by the circumstances but I figured it would be an unnoticeable drop-off. I was wrong. When we arrived, people were unloading in mass exodus and the head usher was my former singles ward bishop. He teased and taunted from the window as we sat in the car, “JB's getting dropped off at scout camp by his mommy?” -- “Don’t worry Mom, we’ll take good care of him.” -- “Be sure to give her a kiss goodbye.” The abuse climaxed when I tried to exit the vehicle only to discover that the child locks were activated. Lovingly, mom got out of the car and opened my door for me. I kissed her goodbye on the cheek.
Args has settled into our new ward nicely. By far, she has formed the strongest social network of anyone in our family participating in book club, playgroups, cookie exchanges, relief society (teaching), and nursery. Recently she’s been getting together with several other women at 5:45 am for aerobics. She does this three days a week with remarkable consistency. Args will also join “The Biggest Loser” next season but as my trainer – watch out Jillian.
One of Arg’s favorite hobbies (escapes) this year has been “blogging.” I recently discovered that some of the most dedicated bloggers are not techies, but stay-at-home moms who love to swap child-rearing stories, share cooking secrets, and fantasize about what they would do if they had three hours all to themselves. Argsdevotes a fair amount of time each day to the craft. There’s a good chance that if the kids are in bed or if I can’t find her around the house she’s on the computer blogging. Most of the time I’m quite supportive, but I must admit there are times when I just want to throw the computer in the toilet. But before I do, let me finish my Christmas letter.
Much Love, JB, Args, Boo, & Yaks, Paulsen
