Commercial paper or toilet paper?

It's been all about finances this week: assessing the damage from Christmas, resolving to keep a better budget throughout 2008, and reading marketwatch as the economy seems to be tanking. It's been particularly discouraging to watch my retirement balances melt away as if someone was cyphening funds daily. This is a sore spot for me as I met with my retirment advisor back in September with the intent of significantly shuffling my portfolio because I felt the next few months were going to be poor performers. After 30 minutes of her trying to convince me that market timing doesn't work, I acquessed (sp) and made about half of the adjustments that I had initially intended. I should know better that financial advisors are a little off base. I've seen evidence of this every day for weeks as wallstreeters applaud at the end of a trading day that signified 250 points lost and 4.8 billion in
market value flushed down the toilet. And so, i write this entry from where? The mens bathroom.

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The big news today? Boo got her hair cut. I'ts been nearly a year since she cut it herself, and it's grown in just enough that we could give her a cute little bob. We took her to Cookie Cutters to have it done. Cookie Cutters is a place that specializes in cutting kids hair. They sit in cars, play video games, and watch movies while the stylist works furiously. I found out today that they do Daddy cuts while kids are having their hair done. I can't wait to play video games instead of the typical forced stylist conversation.

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I have a dear aunt that has always been exceptionally kind to me. She expresses undaunting faith in my potential and views me with the greatest compasion and lack of judgement. I just got off of the phone with her. She was calling me to tell me that she had been given an apple t-shirt and was mailing it to me as she new I was an apple fan. It would seem like such a small gesture, but along with the shirt, she told me exactly what l needed to hear tonight. Recently I've been contemplating my goals and my direction in life (primarily professionally) and I've felt I've come up a little short. Without even knowing how I was feeling she expressed empathy for the stage I was in at this time in my life, trying to balance a young family and a career. I'm not sure why I'm writing this, I guess I'm just grateful to be blessed with good people in my life- undercover angels if you will, that
without even knowing it provide you with hope. I hope I am able to be that for other people at times.

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Back to work

If there is one thing I love about the holiday break, it is spending time with my kids. When the time finally rolls around for me to come back to work, I know it’s an adjustment for me, mom (whose become accustomed to the extra help) and the munches who are used to eating out at least one meal each day courtesy of dad. I have a host of memories from the past week and wish to share just a couple of incidents that made me smile.

Poor Yaks has been infirmed the entire Christmas break. This has provided for some challenging nights. Although Yaks is approaching two, he is still addicted to a bottle. And if he wakes up in the middle of the night his conditioned response is to ask for a refill. Sometimes he’ll be completely asleep but holding the bottle in his hand. As was the case this week, he’s figured out that if he takes the bottle and clanks it along the slats of his crib he doesn’t even need to cry out—mom and dad will come running. The clanking on the bars reminds me of those scenes from the movies when a prisoner is clanking his metal mug across the bars.

Boo received the Beauty and the Beast DVD for Christmas. Incidentally, the DVD was purchased online and upon arrival we discovered it was an illegitimate copy. It still plays, but the quality is less than a typical DVD. We’ve felt quite comfortable letting Jane watch this show without mom and dad in the room. It wasn’t until we were in the car a couple of days ago and heard Boo exclaim, “Stupid” that we realized she had picked this up from the DVD (the part where the beast gets a less-than-stellar haircut before the big date with Belle) I guess it shows you can never be too careful. There is one exceptional set of parents in our ward that has taken extraordinary measures to ensure their children aren’t influenced by Disney pop culture. They noticed that many of the Disney Princesses wear immodest dresses so they color in sleeves in coloring books and sew new clothes for their dolls. I don’t think we’ll go that far.

Finally, I decided about a year ago that I would attempt to have a monthly date night with each of the children. Boo incidentally has the first Tuesday of the month and Yaks has the second Tuesday. I’ve had to be flexible with these dates since I was called into the bishopric, but I think I’ve done a fair job of making sure each child has a little one-on-one time each month. Yesterday Boo and I spent the morning sledding (cell phone picture below) and then got hot chocolate and Bagels at Einsteins. Boo was so proud of herself that she could go down the hill all by herself. I was proud of myself that I could continue to pull her back up the hill for nearly an hour.

It’s been a great holiday break, but I’m so glad I’m back at work. I know I’ll miss the kids even more during these next few days, but I relish the good times we shared during this break.

Christmas Letters

Recently there has been this departure from one of the oldest and most famed Christmas traditions -- the annual Christmas letter. I hear people complain that the most recent Christmas letters are boring and merely brag about everything the sender did that year. Or they complain that they are too long and they don’t have time to read them. Sadly, I agree with their complaints; there are many Christmas letters out there posing to be the real deal, but sadly they miss the aspects that have carried on this tradition for years. Every year, however, I anxiously check my mailbox for a couple of Christmas letters that will make me smile, laugh, or choke up. I commend those people for forgetting about themselves and writing a letter that is intended to be a gift to the recipient.

Several years ago I decided that I wanted to be one of those people that carried on the tradition of the storied Christmas letter. I set out to study the best of the best and developed what I think is a formula for composing a compelling letter. While I don’t mean to boast, I’ve been particularly proud of the responses we’ve garnered from our last several Christmas letters. If someone tells me that our letter made them laugh or that they shared it with everyone that came into their home, I know I’ve gotten the job done – I’ve spread the Christmas spirit with a mere eight and a half by eleven sheet of paper.

So, although it’s after Christmas, I’m posting a copy of our letter here with a few pointers on writing a great Christmas letter. I hope that our mailbox will be flooded next year with messages from our friends.

Top Ten Rules for Writing a Christmas Letter the Recipient Will Actually Read:

The opening paragraph is key. It should be short (no more than three sentences) and set the stage for what the letter will reveal. The opening paragraph is the hook. Letters need not be filled with sidesplitting humor, but they should evoke a chuckle once or twice.

Write in your own words. Tell stories that are personally meaningful to you. Don’t use your thesaurus to fill the letter with words that make you appear smarter.

Don’t brag. Nobody cares about how much money you made, where you vacationed, or the degrees you’ve earned. They hopefully care about the challenges you faced, the lessons you learned, and the people you touched.

Start writing early. Start developing ideas for your Christmas letter in November. A lot has transpired during the past year and it can be hard to remember the most meaningful happenings.

Make it brief. If you can’t say it on one page front and back, you’re not saying it correctly. Adjusting the margins and typeface is okay as long as the type is no smaller than 11 pt and there is adequate white space – you don’t want your reader to feel overwhelmed.

Write with a thread. Great letters, like great stories, have one constant – a topic, story, or person that resurfaces throughout the letter. This thread will provide continuity and interest. You should always close your letter with this thread. Your letter should start out with a small bang, build in intensity until 3/4 of the way through, ease off towards the end, and end with a kicker.

Embellish, but don’t lie. A Christmas letter is about great stories. It’s okay if every fact and figure isn’t represented and if you use outrageous descriptors to make your point—there is a certain amount of expected and tolerated creative license to every Christmas letter; don’t cross the line.

Make it punchy. Don’t draw out a story longer than needed. Make sure your thoughts are concise and relevant. The recipient should be able to read any single paragraph and be filled with some Christmas joy.

Include everyone. Be sure to give adequate coverage for everyone in your family. Make mention of your neighbors, colleagues, friends, or church mates if possible. If the recipient sees that they are highlighted in your Christmas letter, they’ll be more likely to read it next year.

Add your contact info. One of the old marketing additives is to only pursue those things that are “measurable.” If you provide current contact info in your letter (your blog address, phone number, e-mail, etc.) people will update their address books and possibly write you back. Those who write back will get a picture with their Christmas letter next year while the scrooges will slowly disappear from your Christmas list.

The 2007 Paulsen Christmas Letter
(I wouldn't categorize this as our best work - but we've been pleased by the smiles it's brought to people's faces)

Dear Family and Friends, I’m penning this year’s Christmas letter on the bus (which Jane calls the “Blue School Bus”) because I no longer have a car and this is the only time I have to write. Read on to find out more.

With and without, the haves and the have-nots, we’ve been on both sides of the table this year as the following stories illustrate. But before I divulge this year’s happenings, I want to make my position very clear—we feel immeasurably blessed.

This year’s first “without” has little do with the bare necessities and more to do with the small luxuries in life. It also happens to include the smallest member of our rat pack, Yaks. Yaks is the typical boy: athletic and mischievous. The following reenactment occurs on a daily basis.

Mom walks into a room and asks, “Yaks, what are you doing?” At this moment Yaks has his back facing Mom concealing something in his paws. Just then he turns, glares at her with those brown eyes, grins subtly, and slowly raises his left eyebrow. This happens milliseconds before he pours an entire bottle of syrup on the carpet or empties a container of onion powder into the toaster (both of which happened this year). The results of Yak’s antics are normally reversible, although our toaster still cooks onion-flavored Eggos. Occasionally, however, Yak’s nefarious activities cause permanent damage. I distinctly remember three phone calls I received this year.

1) [Args] “Honey, Yaks has something he wants to tell you.”
[JB] “Awe, he misses his daddy.”
[Args] “No, he threw your cordless phone in the toilet.”
(Cordless phone: $200)

2) [Args] “Sweetie, do we have another mouse for the computer?”
[JB] “Why, is the cordless mouse out of batteries?”
[Args] “No, Yaks threw it in the toilet.”
(Wireless mouse: $60)

3) [Args] “You love your son, don’t you”
[JB] “Of course I do”
[Args] “Even more than your remote control”
[JB] “My LCD universal remote that I can use anywhere in our yard?”
[Args] “Yeah…(pause) Yaks threw it in the toilet.”
(Logitech Harmony 890 Remote: $350)

Alas, the pain of losing the aforementioned items has faded, and I have an abundance of memories that are, well, priceless. Since that time, Args and I have hypothesized as to why Yaks chose to destroy those particular items. All we can come up with is that they are the three competitors for attention: phone, computer, and television.

Boo is still fixated on Sesame Street and Elmo, but the obsession with these educational PBS programs is quickly shifting to a powerful commercial monster, Disney Princesses ®. Belle, from Beauty and the Beast is her favorite. Evidence of this transition takes place every morning when Jane promptly removes her Elmo pajamas and exchanges them for her favorite pink dress. It’s strange when she ventures outside on a weekday, as she resembles a pioneer girl.

One of Boo’s favorite Elmo episodes has also been instrumental in her princess metamorphoses. The episode, entitled “Hair,” teaches children everything they need to know about taking care of their hair, including how to get a haircut. You probably know where this is headed—another dreaded phone call from Args. This call was actually a picture message to my cell phone; “Look at what Boo did with the scissors!” was the text that accompanied a photo array of Boo’s perfectly chiseled mullet. In an attempt to make herself into a beauty, she had unleashed a beast.

As most of you know, we moved to ******* last year, a paradisiac community with wonderful neighbors. We purchased a relatively newer home in hopes of avoiding remodeling and repair costs. This strategy worked marvelously until our furnace and water heater broke. Despite the two big blows to our budget, we persevered. Things got slightly worse, however, when during our vacation in ********* this summer the air conditioner on our Honda blew up. We drove the 300-mile trip home with the windows down in 100-degree weather. I can still remember the kid’s bright-red faces and ratted hair as they sat parched in the back seat. If there was one benefit to the broken AC, it was the wind blowing between windows as it would drown out Boo’s voice as she sang out-of-tune Disney songs. She has an acute ear for disharmony as she can sing any song exactly one half step down from its intended key. It’s worse when she sings at full voice during church. The cost of repairing the AC was substantial so we postponed fixing it for several months by planning early morning grocery runs and carrying ice-cold sippy cups when daytime travel was required.

With the cost of repairs and haircuts racking up, we deemed it necessary to trim expenses and sell the Subaru. The adjustment was actually a positive change for our family. Using some of the proceeds from the sale, I purchased a road bike and began biking the 27-mile round trip commute to work. After several months I had lost close to 25 pounds (down to a svelte 160), cut my contribution to global warming, and saved a small fortune in auto expenses and gas. Be sure to look for me on the “The Biggest Loser” next season.

Living with one car hasn’t been without its challenges. One particular incident occurred when I attended Woodbadge training this summer. For those unfamiliar with Woodbadge, the course is a Boy Scout leadership training. Adults dress in full uniform (red and green socks included), learn and practice leadership skills, and live like boy scouts for six days and five nights. The course took place up ******* Canyon beginning at 6:00 am the first morning.

Transportation to Woodbadge presented a problem because we didn’t have a spare car for me to take for the duration of the training. Waking the kids up at 5:45 am wasn’t an option either according to Args. Trapped, I called on my amazing mother to help with transport. She agreed to pick me up that morning to take her 28-year-old son, dressed in full scout uniform, to scout camp. Fortunately, she had planned a hike up the canyon that same morning with my aunt who drove up with us.

We proceeded up the canyon, my mom, my aunt, and a grown boy scout in the back seat. Needless to say, I was slightly embarrassed by the circumstances but I figured it would be an unnoticeable drop-off. I was wrong. When we arrived, people were unloading in mass exodus and the head usher was my former singles ward bishop. He teased and taunted from the window as we sat in the car, “JB's getting dropped off at scout camp by his mommy?” -- “Don’t worry Mom, we’ll take good care of him.” -- “Be sure to give her a kiss goodbye.” The abuse climaxed when I tried to exit the vehicle only to discover that the child locks were activated. Lovingly, mom got out of the car and opened my door for me. I kissed her goodbye on the cheek.

Args has settled into our new ward nicely. By far, she has formed the strongest social network of anyone in our family participating in book club, playgroups, cookie exchanges, relief society (teaching), and nursery. Recently she’s been getting together with several other women at 5:45 am for aerobics. She does this three days a week with remarkable consistency. Args will also join “The Biggest Loser” next season but as my trainer – watch out Jillian.

One of Arg’s favorite hobbies (escapes) this year has been “blogging.” I recently discovered that some of the most dedicated bloggers are not techies, but stay-at-home moms who love to swap child-rearing stories, share cooking secrets, and fantasize about what they would do if they had three hours all to themselves. Argsdevotes a fair amount of time each day to the craft. There’s a good chance that if the kids are in bed or if I can’t find her around the house she’s on the computer blogging. Most of the time I’m quite supportive, but I must admit there are times when I just want to throw the computer in the toilet. But before I do, let me finish my Christmas letter.

Much Love, JB, Args, Boo, & Yaks, Paulsen

A Meeting with Old Friends

From Right: Jesse, Annie (Jesse's Spouse), Emily (my cousin), Hanna-lee, Args (My Spouse), JB

Several weeks ago I ran into an old friend while attending a business lunch. I was there with a colleague and we were supposed to meet up with a woman neither of us had met. I’m sure you’ve experienced the same anxiety before – watching everyone come in the door and assessing whether or not they fit the occupation, tone of voice, and reputation of the person you are supposed to meet. Anyway, a woman walked in the door that seemed to fit my preconceived notions. I walked up to her, introduced myself, and then suddenly realized we had met before. We were teenage acquaintances that had met through my cousin Emily who lived in Ogden. I was probably 15 at the time and she and my cousin were 16 or 17 when we first met—I felt so cool hanging out with older women.

It had been years since we had seen each other and both of us had obviously matured considerably. We quickly reminisced of the days when we used to play late-night pranks, engage in games of truth and dare, and give back rubs. Oddly, backrubs seemed to be somewhat romantic at that age.

After parting, I returned to my office and mentioned the encounter to my cousin Emily who suggested it was time we have a reunion with the old clan when she was in town for the holidays. We made arrangements to meet at a local restaurant last night and enjoyed some great conversation. It was particularly fun to talk about everyone’s career plans, meet spouses, and swap stories about our children. We concluded the evening at our home in Bountiful. Forgoing the temptation to play another game of truth or dare, we followed Emily’s suggestion to share our biggest “miracle” that had occurred that year and the biggest miracle that had occurred during our lives. While the answers were all over the board, most all of touched on the great blessing our family, friends, and spouses, had been. The evening was a delightful reunion. I’m so grateful for the people I have met throughout my life and the impact they have had on me.

Christmas Day Review

Here is another great post from Amy regarding our Christmas. I thought I would post it verbatim. You can read it and others on her blog at allhale-amy@blogspot.com

I Heard the Yells on Christmas Day!

from Amy's Blog by Amy

December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas! The kidlets both awoke early Christmas Day, after a rough night of nightmares, drink requests and mystery cries*. We took the traditional picture on the stairs in their cute Christmas jammies. JB and I were so excited to see the kids' reactions to their presents - that's the most fun.
We were quite proud that several of the kids' gifts were acquired from treasure hunting at DI. Yaks got a tool bench and Boo got a kitchen set, both for less than $10. I'll let each child tell you in his/her own words about their favorite gift.


Boo: "Dees are my princess dollies! Day have pretty dresses. Day stand in a circle and visit. Day're getting ready to go to the dance. Ben!? You can't touch my princess dollies! NO! Dees are mine!"

Ahhhh, so glad we've instilled in her the spirit of Christmas!












Yaks: "Dree-oh! Dree-oh! I fix it! I fix it. Dood job! Tang-coo, mamas. Tang-coo, dadas!"


Oh, this boy is such a munchkin.


I think JB's favorite gift was a pair of photo cufflinks (a tradition each Christmas) with the kids' pictures inside. JB got me a gift card for a date night to Benihana's. I'm looking forward to that, as JB has never had that type of dining experience. It will be fun!


My brother and sister-in-law drew our names for our family gift exchange. They mailed us a darling church binder for each child with the gospel A-B-C's in it, a coloring book, notepad, colored pencils, board book and stickers. It obviously took much time and thought. It's the perfect gift to help with our Sunday troubles. Thanks, family!

We didn't have anywhere to go for the rest of the day, so we took advantage of the freshly-fallen snow and went sledding on a nearby hill. Boo went down on the sled all by herself! Yaks was done after his first run, when we got plowed by a tuber and Yaks got snow spray all over his face. Fortunately, there were some nice dogs who were also visiting the hill. They were fun to chase around."I went down all by my say-olf! Yay!"

Yaks is going to stick to dry ground.

I came down with a mild case of the Christmas blues later in the day. You know, missing that carefree feeling of Christmas day as a child, long-standing traditions, endless talking with my siblings, and relying on my own parents to be in charge? I felt so guilty feeling this way. I had a really fun day with my own family and love to be with them. We had planned to drive up to visit the day after Christmas, but canceled, due to a threatening snowstorm, which was a real disappointment. We did have a visit from Nana, Papa, Isaac and Abby, though, and got to show them our gifts and received many others from them, which was so nice.

Following naps for all, which helped a great deal, we enjoyed a little family Christmas dinner, ate treats, played for hours with "our toys", and watched a little movie all together on the couch before collapsing, exhausted into bed.